医学翻译中常见错例及分析(2)

日常医学翻译审校中攒下来的错例，都是常见的错误。

1.于 2016 年诊断冠心病、糖尿病、高血压、心肌梗塞、心房纤颤病史。

原译：The patient had a history of coronary heart disease (first diagnosed in 2016), diabetes, hypertension, myocardial infarction, [and] arterial fibrillation.

分析：这个例子主要强调时间状语问题。原译错误在于将 2016 年仅作为“冠心病”的时间状语，这在原文里是找不到证据支持的。

从原文看，2016 年是所有诊断的时间状语。所以不能将 (first diagnosed in 2016) 放在冠心病后面，应该放在整个句子后面。还可以有其他译法。

另一个错误是，原文里并没有说是第几次诊断，原译自己加了first，这是有违原文意思的。医学翻译必须要忠实原文！！！

2.无心悸、胸闷，无胸痛、咳嗽、发热等伴随症状，纳食可，夜眠欠佳，二便调。

原译：No concomitant symptoms including palpitation, chest tightness, chest pain, cough or fever. Normal diet. Poor night sleep. Normal defecation and urination.

分析：这个例子主要强调名词单复数和词意辨析问题。首先，palpitation 这个词是可数名词，心悸一般是连续多次的不规律心跳，所以一般以复数形式 palpitations 出现。

第二，diet 这个词在往期文章讲过，它强调的是食物，但“饮食正常”“纳食”等等中的“饮食”指的是“食欲” appetite，意思有区别。翻译要翻句子的意思，不是简单单词对应！！！

【医学翻译审校笔记】单复数概念

3. 无冶游史。

原译：Denied having more than 1 sexual partner.

分析：这个例子主要强调意思准确性问题。原文的“冶游史”指的是做“大保健” prostitute visiting。但原译的意思是多个性伴侣，跟原文意思有差别。

4. 该产品针对敏感和干性肌肤……（打断）

原译：This product is for sensitive and dry skin……(interrupted)

分析：这个例子主要强调标点符号问题。中文的省略号是 6 个点，英文里只有 3 个点。

标点符号和空格很多人都会出错，空格问题见往期文章：

【医学翻译审校笔记】也许做中英翻译时，你的空格都没有用对​

5. 患者诉腰部疼痛、活动受限，无昏迷、头痛、胸闷，无咳嗽咳痰，无恶心、呕吐，腹部无压痛和反跳痛。

原译：The patient complained of lower back pain, limited movement, he was not unconscious, did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, vomiting and his abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.

分析：这个例子主要强调行文逻辑和语法问题。原文流水句，一逗到底，那是病历行文特点。翻译成英文，基本的语法规则还是要遵守的。语法完整的句子跟句子之间不能直接放在一起，必须用连词或者分号（；）连接。

详见往期

【医学翻译审校笔记】每个句子都有它的脾气，需要连接才能在一起​

如果修改的话，建议把意思分割开，写独立的句子，保持逻辑清晰。当然这里只是修改错误，还可以有更好的翻译版本。

参考修改：The patient complained of lower back pain and limited movement. He was not unconscious. He did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, and vomiting. His abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.

6. 患者因“间断胸闷、气短5年，加重1月”于2018年12月8日入院，入院后完善检查，心内科给予强心、利尿、抗感染等治疗，患者气短仍明显，水肿明显，不能平卧，遂转入重症医学科，给予抗感染，高流量吸氧，并化痰、利尿、强心、扩冠等治疗。

原译：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months," examinations were completed after admission, the Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments, the patient's shortness of breath remained significant, significant edema, unable tolie supine, subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine, the Department of Critical Care Medicine provided anti-infective, high-flow oxygen, mucolytic, diuretic, heart-strengthening, and coronary-dilating treatments.

分析：这个例子还是强调行文逻辑和断句问题。原译问题跟例 5 一样，这名译员不知道断句，也不遵守语法规则。

【医学翻译审校笔记】英文病历语言特点

参考修改：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months". Examinations were completed after admission. The Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments. The patient's shortness of breath remained significant, with significant edema. He was unable to lie supine, and was subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine. The Department of Critical Care Medicine provided treatments such as anti-i

nfection, high-flow oxygen, sputum reduction, diuresis, cardiac function support,and coronary dilation..

这里只是修改错误，还可以有更好的翻译版本。

除此之外，原译还存在并列成分结构不一致问题。在最后一句中，一系列形容词中夹杂着名词 high-flow oxygen。

要保持并列成分一致，一种修改可以是并列成分都换成名词：provided treatments such as anti-infection, high-flow oxygen, sputum reduction, diuresis, cardiac function support,and coronary dilation.

鉴于笔者视野和经验有限，欢迎各位专业人士批评指正。